Giving Thanks

I am thankful for:

• My crazy, funny, and maddening children
• My amazingly supportive wife who helps me through my dark time before organic chemistry exams
• My friends
• My family
• My destructive terror of a dog
• My struggles - they make me a better person
• My successes - they show me I'm on the right track
• My home - 'It is little, and broken, but still good. Yeah. Still good.'
• My sweet potato pie - mmmmm sweeeeeet potato pie

Marley and Me

So it's just Marley and me right now. She's a half shar-pei, half lab mix. The wife is at work until very late. My brother came by and I pawned the twins off on him until morning. Muahahahaha. Hopefully they won't eat him alive before then. The older ones are outside playing with friends, and soon will be off to spend the night with their MeeMaw. So I'm here. Studying. Just Marley and me. It's quiet. I had forgotten what quiet felt like. It's a bit eerie. I'm trying to concentrate on my work, but I can hear everything. I can hear dogs barking in the distance. Nearby there is a high school football game in progress. I can track the play-by-play of the announcer (home team appears to be winning). I can hear the tick-tock of the clock in the living room. I can hear the sound of the keys on the keyboard as I type this. How foreign these sounds seem, though they surely happen all the time. Yet I cannot hear them through the din of my life. I kinda miss the din already... Hopefully I will be able to block out all this extraneous noise and buckle down for the homestretch of my organic chemistry study. The exam is Tuesday. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

Burnout

I'm struggling. I can see the finish line of this semester. I know I'm almost done. I'm spent. My mental energy seems to be failing me. I realized the other day that I haven't given myself time to relax. I went from a crazy Spring 2010, to Chemistry 1 in the summer, quickly followed by Chemistry 2 also in the summer. As soon as Chem 2 finished, Fall was upon me and I immediately dove into my current classes. I haven't had a week off... and it's showing. I should be pushing through with that last bit of gusto I always manage to find. This time seems different. The cupboard appears to be bare. The reserve energy is gone. I have used all my carbohydrates, spent all my adipose, and it seems I'm diving into muscle. Somehow I must find a way to plunge through. I try to remind myself that it is almost over as well as how important these next few weeks will mean to my overall transcripts. I just hope my willpower is strong enough....

Kermit's Ladyfriend

And here she is as promised. She was very sweet and accommodating. I regret that she had to go into the bio-hazard waste. Shame.

The Texas Fresh Start Program and Me

Texas has this amazing program called "The Fresh Start." This is designed for non-traditional, aka old, students who wish to pursue a degree, not be held back by sub-par performances earlier in their educational career. Any grades ten years ago or older, are wiped away. This also means that if going on to professional school, like medical school, any prerequisites that were completed over ten years ago are also wiped away and must be redone (but shouldn't they be redone anyway? Who remembers anything from ten years ago?).

In my case, I will instantaneously have a 4.0 GPA! Amazing. Well, maybe not a 4.0 because physics and I are barely on speaking terms lately, but I digress. The only problem is that one needs to apply to the college as a Fresh Start applicant. Since I just learned of this and I am already enrolled, this creates a problem. I mean, I am already enrolled in a 4 year University (more to come about this later), as well as a local 2 year College. So in my case, I will need to enroll at another institution to be able to implement this plan.

My first thought was to enroll in another 4 year University because I need to take biochemistry at some point, and my current 4 year University does not offer it. Seemed like a great plan. The problem is that I just learned the course must be completed before I apply to medical school. Well my timeline has been carefully planned. I am finishing up my prerequisites next semester with physics 2 and organic chemistry 2. I was going to take a month in the summer and study for, then take the MCAT. I was going to then apply to all the Texas medical schools, except for maybe Baylor since they do not accept the program. Well now that I must have the class completed prior to applying, I need to readjust my plans.

So I will now apply to another two year college, take physics 2 there next semester. I will take organic chemistry 2 with my current 2 year college (I already know the professor, and am comfortable with his particular nuances, and I have a scholarship so it's free). I will also take Neurobiology and Psychology Research Methods with my current 4 year institution. So basically, I will be taking classes at 3 different colleges next semester. This is just about enough to make my head spin. The crazy things premeds must endure...

Kermit has a good heart

I've never dissected anything before. In elementary school, I was supposed to dissect a frog, but unfortunately my family moved, landing me in another school - non dissecting school. Last week we dissected a worm, crayfish, and muscle. Those were mere child'splay compared to Kermit. Kermit has such interesting insides. I was able to locate everything and actually understand the basics of how it works (of course I will learn much more in the coming years). Next week comes Kermit's girlfriend. Hopefully more exciting pics to follow...

Homeostasis

The maintenance of equilibrium within a social group, person, etc. - Dictionary.com

October brought so much joy and pain. It always seems to equal out doesn't it? The good: There were three birthdays in a four day period. Hectic yes. But joyful nevertheless. My father splurged and got two of the kids kindles for their birthdays. Extravagant, but appreciated by myself as well as the kids. Halloween brings another joyful occasion. Watching the kids light up when trick or treating is something to behold. Watching them freak out when they pass that scary house that's all done up, with torturous screams emanating from within, and monsters laying in wait behind a bush (everyone knows of a house like this, and if you don't, you should). As an aside, this year we had an alien, Darth Vader, a dead hippie, and Tweedle dee and Tweedle dum (random people started taking pictures of these two goofball twins!)

As for joyfulness with school, I found out I got a B on my last organic chemistry test. Normally I would be slightly disappointed by this considering the amount of time I've put into this class, but since I had a ridiculous run of tests in a row, and considering the catastrophic feeling in the pit of my stomach upon exiting the examination room, and all week while waiting for the results, a B is extraordinary! Whew.

To balance, I found out I got a D on my physics midterm. Wow. Crushing. Admittedly I did not put forth the required time it takes to perform well. Physics is hard for me. It takes me a long time to fully grasp a given concept. I don't know why, but it does. Physics has humbled me to my core. Because I do not enjoy the subject, I do not want to study it. Because I am doing poorly, I do not want to study it. Yet I must. Fortunately I am still getting a B in the class, and the professor said he would substitute the Final Exam grade with the midterm, so there is still hope for an A actually. That seems a little weird but I will take it. I just really need to buckle down with it... but it really sucks. Did I mention that?

In addition, I know I did poorly on my last statistics exam. Again, because of time requirements of other subjects, I did not prepare properly. I think I did alright, but I will find out Saturday. I actually understand the subject, find it to be fairly easy, and love my professor whom I can only describe as "Mr. Miyagi." He is hilarious in his own weird, old man way. Because I can do the work relatively easily, I do not put much effort into it, as other classes require so much of me. I really hope this does not cost me in the end, for each grade is important.

Why can't it ALL be good news? Homeostasis sucks.