A Well Deserved Break

So Friday I took a well deserved break from my studies to enjoy some good friends, good beer, and some marginally good poker.  I invited some old friends and new over to my house and allowed them to take my money in a good old fashioned game of Texas hold-em.  I had just received my final grades for this semester and needed a break.  My final grades break down as follows:

Psychology Research Methods: A
Neurobiology: A
Health for Today: A
Physics II: A
Organic Chemistry II: B

Although I did not get the straight A's I was shooting for, I feel satisfied that I worked hard and did reasonably well.  Since finishing the semester I have been studying for my upcoming MCAT exam.  I have realized something very interesting about studying for this fabled exam.  It sucks.  Yeah that's right - I said it.  Studying for the MCAT is mind-numbingly boring.  I keep going over information I have already learned.  I need to know all this information much better than I knew it when I learned it though.  And the sheer volume of information required to be retained in my brain seems overwhelming at times.

The only way I am able to continue pushing through is to not think about that.  I just make small goals for myself like "I will finish reading X number of pages in this MCAT prep book."  Or "today I will go over every question I got wrong, as well all those I got correct in my practice exam."  That's really the only way I know how to study for this darned thing.  But now my break from school work is over.  Back to the books....

Now the Real Work Begins

The semester is over.  I just finished my last final exam, that being for Organic Chemistry 2.  I may finish with a "B" in that class depending on the results of that horrific test.  Now the real work begins.  Beginning Monday, I need to take a few days to rejuvenate my mental faculties, I will begin my quest to crush the MCAT, or at least not let it crush me.  This semester was trying in that I took more credit hours than I ever have before.  But I still have the possibility of getting straight A's in the 17 hours taken.  I will update the results when they come out, which I think is next week.

Since my diagnostic MCAT exam was not nearly up to where it needs to be, I will be working 8 hours everyday to give myself the best chance possible of succeeding.  My weakest area is physics, so of course  I will put off studying that as long as possible because let's be honest - physics sucks.  Biology is so much more kick ass than physics!  So I will start with biology and get to where I am a biology master as fast as possible.  Then, because physics is the bane of my existence, I will move on to general chemistry.  Hopefully, by then I will sufficiently be into MCAT study mode where I can focus on the beast.  I've read several posts on student doctor network that organic chemistry is too low yield to study for, and considering I just took two semesters of it, I plan on briefly reviewing that section last.

If anyone has any study tips, or things that worked well for them, please let me know.  I plan on taking a practice exam every week, probably on Saturday mornings since my MCAT is set for Saturday, July 14th at 8 am.  I also will make sure to go over every answer I got wrong, and even the ones I got correct to make sure that I have as solid a foundation as possible.  I will be self-studying as I do not want to shell out $1500 for an MCAT prep course.  Fortunately, my school library has many resources, and a friend is letting me borrow her books when she finishes with them next week.  Good luck to all those applying this cycle.  It's been a lot of hard work to get to this point, and we've only just begun!

Diagnostic MCAT Exam

So I took a diagnostic MCAT exam yesterday to gauge where I stand before I start studying.  I realize this was premature considering I have not yet completed all of my finals for this semester, but I was excited and curious to see if all of my effort in my prerequisites was worth anything.  I made sure that I went through each section in the given amount of time.  Since I've always been a fast exam taker, I found that I was never really pressed for time; I was able to read through every passage with a firm understanding of the material, or so I thought.  I found this process to be a very humbling experience.  My score was not where I want it, nor need it to be.  However, I recognize that I have not studied at all for this exam.  That will come.

I read a post on student doctor network about a student who is going back to school and just finished up with his first semester of classes with straight A's.  He was overjoyed with his accomplishment.  I remember that feeling well.  It was empowering.  I was on top of the world; nothing could stop me.  I guess I'm struggling with the fact that as the first leg of this marathon is winding down, I feel immense pressure to perform.  I have worked so hard for this and the thought of this one exam putting into perspective what I have learned, how I think, and how well I will do in medical school is weighing heavily on my mind.  I miss that euphoria I felt as I was beginning this journey.  I no longer get the same pleasure from my success.  All I can think about is how none of it will matter if I don't score well on the MCAT.  The thought of all this time, money, and effort being in vain is almost overwhelming.

If I am to be a doctor, dealing with pressure is part of the job.  I realize that.  I have never been averse to it before.  In fact I typically thrive in such situations.  This time feels different.  This time it's not just myself I am letting down if I fail.  I have a family who is rooting for, and depending on me to succeed.  I have friends who look to me as an example of what is possible with hard work.  I guess the gravity of my situation has hit me like a locomotive, and I'm struggling to keep myself together.  I must keep forging ahead - one foot in front of the other.  Step by step, life is easy.  Yard by yard, life is hard.  Though it's hard not to think ahead, I must continue to focus on the present.  Right now I need to prepare for my finals.  I will work on the MCAT in due time.  But now is not that time.