Friday, December 2, 2011

Am I failing my child?

So is it wrong to want to take out a hit on a third grader? Probably. There's this kid picking on mine at school. My boy is big for his age, and would be able to handle himself in a situation with kids his own age, but unfortunately, this kid is 3 years his elder. My boy has skipped 2 grades and is in third grade, though he just turned 7. What I wanted to do after attempting to console my distraught son, was to go up to the school and scare the bully pants off the other kid. Or tell his brother to "take care of it." My wife said that is not the answer. So I defer. Instead, I went to the school to inform the teacher. While waiting to speak with her, the principal saw me and we chatted about the situation. She was great and started to put my mind at ease. She is very familiar with my son and the situation, except she is not on the front lines. The heat of the battle. When I spoke with my son's teacher, she gave me the whole, "boys will be boys" attitude. I wanted to shake her.

Someone is messing with my child. Those who do not have children will not understand the intensity of emotion this evokes. The teacher has a laissez-faire attitude about it. That's infuriating. What should I do? Call the hit? Wife said no. Call an outside hit with the "Godfather" of the third grade in exchange for 2 juice boxes and a box of cookies? I bet the wife would be against that as well. I don't want to get pounded myself so I listen to her. But, what am I to do?

Another problem is he has the ability to integrate a year's worth of curriculum in approximately four or five months. I've searched and searched for a better place to put him. We had decided on this charter school he is in now for smaller class size, as well as the strength of the curriculum. But it doesn't seem to be working. I cannot believe there are not schools in this area that can accommodate someone like my child. There are all sorts of schools for children who need more attention, ie those with ADHD, dyslexia, autism, and the like; there are no schools for those who need more help because they are far and away more intelligent than the average child. So what do I do? I feel like I am failing my boy....


  1. You are not failing your son.

    I was like him, in many ways: both highly gifted and bullied by others. Due to family circumstance, I had no advocate.

    Thus, not only was I not accommodated at all at school (no acceleration, extra work, nothing. I was reading at a college level in Elementary; but forced to do the work that they deemed "age appropriate", even though it was grades below me. Hell. Absolute Hell. I eventually dropped out and started Community College at 15 - 16 [non-matriculated - matriculated]), not only did anybody fail to do anything about the bullies; but I had no support.

    By just writing this post, by just seeking something else out, by going into that school, it is clear that you care. And, as he knows that, you have not failed him. Yes, it's awful that nobody cares about gifted and talented kids. And I do get the frustration.

    When he is a bit older, I suggest you look into the following residential (they do have day programs for younger kids; but, per SDN, the closest one to you is in Austin), Summer programs: Summer Institute For The Gifted (SIG), Duke TIP and John Hopkins Center for Talented Youth. SIG determines eligibility by age, with the youngest being 8; CTY and TIP are by grade, with the youngest being 4th grade.

    You can also go to to see if any of their resources can help you.

    Good luck!

  2. Thank you Akire for your comment. I really appreciate it. I am actually meeting with another school tomorrow to see if they might be a good fit for him. But I really don't know how I will be able to afford it even if he gets in. I guess I'll cross that bridge if/when I get to it.

    I hope that when he gets older, he will see with the clarity that you do now. I hope he knows that I did the best I could for him. I will certainly look into the programs you recommended tomorrow as well. Thank you so much for your information and support!

  3. Do not pay any attention to the teachers 'boys will be boys' bs.I myself was bullied as a child and I can attest that it can affect one well into adulthood. Put a stop to it now. A tax credit program was my saving grace. I dont know if they have a similar program in your state, but in FL it is like a scholarship that allows you to attend private school. With it, I was able to go to an excellent private school and my parents only paid about $100 a month. I was able to be around mature kids who were as focused on academics as I am. You can also check out magnet and charter schools, these are excellent programs also.

  4. Thank you so much for the comment. I'm sorry to hear that you too were bullied. I will definitely look into whether or not there is a tax credit. I really doubt it though as it would have to be a federal tax credit since Texas does not have state income taxes. They do however have some really nasty property taxes! Right now he is in a charter school which is actually really good academically for the normal student. However, it's just not enough. While these kids are probably of above average intelligence, my son is still on another level. I've actually never seen anything quite like it. I won't go so far as to call him a genius, as that should be reserved for true greatness, but he's pretty darn amazing. I have spoken to a couple private schools and they have scholarships in place that would certainly help, but getting in is excruciatingly difficult. Again, thank you so much for your support!