Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Positivity?

3 days...

Positivity?  You won't find it in this post.  You have been forewarned.

I'm tired.  Mentally and emotionally spent.  I've obsessed over this exam for months.  I've read hundreds if not thousands of pages of material.  I've gone over both my strengths and my weaknesses.  However, I'm not progressing as much as I would have liked.  I did finally just discover a trend in the answers I'm getting wrong on practice exams.  Apparently I suck at "Flexibility/adaptability in scientific reasoning."  The problem is that it's too late to really DO anything about it.  I mean my test is in 3 days.

I'm scared that this might not work out how I had envisioned it.  I'm scared that I will have done all this work, spent all this time, spent all this money, undergone all this stress, put my family through all this, all for nothing.  That prospect frightens me.  It keeps me up at night.  It messes with my internal organs.  I'm a mess.

I've always been an extremely good exam taker.  However, this is a horse of a different color.  I just hope that come Saturday morning I have some sort of divine intervention that allows me to perform better than I have thus far.  Unlikely?   Sure.  But there's always hope.

I sent a text just a minute ago to a friend of mine complaining about the same thing I am here.  He's taking the MCAT a couple weeks after I am (and will surely way out perform me).  His advice was "That's good.  You've exhausted yourself.  You will be satisfied that you gave it your all in preparing.  Take some rest before the final thing."  This is a lonely process.  It's good to know there are people out there who care about you and know exactly what you are going through.

I really have done the best I can.  I just have to hope that it was good enough...

7 comments:

  1. Keep your chin up. Only 3 more days to go. I will be interceding for the 'divine intervention' you hope for.

    Serial Proc.

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    1. Nice! Thanks Serial Procrastinator. I need all the help I can get for sure!

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  2. If you were anything other than mentally and emotionally spent when you take the test, you would question if you worked hard enough. I don't see your post as negative. Just honest. And that quality will make you a better physician. Remember, this journey is as much an endurance test as it is a test of intelligence and critical thinking ability. Try to stay positive, and I'll send some positive thoughts your way.

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    1. Very true Clare. Thanks for your positive thoughts!

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  3. All the best for today.
    Serial Proc

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    1. Thanks man. Very much appreciate you thinking about me today. I will most likely post on the experience manana. Of course in complete generalities as to not piss off the MCAT gods.

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  4. I would love to know how everything worked out. I am pre-med as well and reading about other pre-med's journey is encouraging.

    Check out my blog as well:http://keepcalmnontrad.blogspot.com/

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